A Reflection on Why Human Connection Matters—and How to Nurture It Today
by Cathy Kim, LCSW, LICSW
Human connection is essential for our well-being, yet many people today find it increasingly difficult to make or maintain relationships. Compared to several decades ago, community often feels weaker and less accessible. This may be due to many factors: the loosening of neighborhood ties, the rise of technology, and the relentless busyness of modern life.
Our brains are wired for connection. When people feel isolated or lonely, they may begin to feel like a burden, unseen, or misunderstood. In fact, the brain interprets isolation as a threat to survival. This heightened state of alert makes us more sensitive to potential rejection and more likely to misinterpret neutral cues as negative. Over time, this creates a self-reinforcing “loneliness loop”: an expectation of rejection that seems confirmed by our perceptions, leading to further withdrawal and fear.
So how do we break free from this cycle and begin building the deeper relationships we long for? Many practices can help, but two stand out as especially important: forgiveness and thinking less about ourselves.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the act of releasing offense, pardoning wrongdoing, and extending grace to another person. It means wiping away the sense of debt we feel is owed. Many relationships fracture because of unresolved conflict or unspoken hurt. As imperfect humans, mistakes are inevitable. But when we acknowledge this reality, we can focus less on tallying wrongs and more on reconciliation.
Too often, conflict is avoided rather than addressed, leaving issues unresolved and stunting growth in relationships. If we instead see conflict as an opportunity to seek and extend forgiveness, relationships can be not only restored but often strengthened.
Forgiveness is not only for the other person—it is also for us. By letting go of resentment and bitterness, we release ourselves from the weight of past hurts and make room for healing and peace.
Thinking of Others More
Alongside forgiveness, another powerful way to nurture connection is shifting our attention outward. Many of us have been conditioned to care deeply about how others perceive us. We long for community and friendship, yet fear of rejection and self-consciousness often hold us back. When we become trapped in our own thoughts the danger is that we limit ourselves to imagined stories instead of stepping out to build real connections and share life with others.
But something changes when we turn our focus outward. By thinking less about ourselves and more about others, we become more present, curious, and engaged. This shift creates space for deeper, more genuine relationships and relieves us from the cycle of constant self-evaluation.
When we approach social situations with a spirit of self-forgetfulness, we detach from worries and insecurities and can experience the joy that comes from meaningful connection.
Closing Thoughts
Staying connected to others is a lifelong journey, with natural ups and downs along the way. In a world that often leaves us feeling rushed and isolated, practices like forgiveness and self-forgetfulness remind us that connection is possible. Even small steps—working towards letting go of resentment, reaching out with curiosity, or focusing on someone else’s needs—can open the door to greater belonging, joy, and deeper meaning.
Cathy Kim, LCSW, LICSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who creates a warm, supportive space for teens, college students, and adults navigating anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues, life transitions, and relationship challenges. Drawing from CBT, DBT, internal family systems, and mindfulness, she tailors therapy to each client’s unique story. She is also available to provide Christian Counseling services.
