Reflecting on Random Acts of Kindness

Dear Mac & Cheesers, 

I hope you’re having a nice holiday season. Lately, I've been reflecting on what it really means to show up for people. The reason I have been reflecting on this is because last Christmas, my dog Mei Mei ran away while we were on vacation in Laguna Beach, California, and a bunch of strangers showed up for me to help me find and rescue her. 

This was one of the most powerful experiences of my entire life. I am someone who does not feel comfortable accepting help from people. I prefer to offer assistance, but in this case, people were assisting me. Several people from the Laguna Beach community—complete strangers—showed up to help me search for her in earnest. They spent hours of their time, helping me on a Saturday afternoon.

There is one stranger who came to help me who I'll never forget. He rolled up in a custom black Bentley, wearing dark sunglasses. His name was Danny. He stepped out of the car, walked up to me, and said to me firmly, “I'm going to help you find your dog. There is no way I am leaving this neighborhood until we do.” What shocked me was that when I looked into his eyes, I could see that he really meant it. He was going to help me find Mei Mei. 

The crazy thing is that he actually did help me find Mei Mei! Without his assistance, she would have been lost forever, as he is the exact person who found her. How he found her is a story for another time, related to principals of mindset and manifestation, but when we found Mei Mei, she was tangled in dry brush, shivering and without water. I was later told that if we hadn’t found her when we did, the coyotes likely would have gotten her.

This experience deeply humbled me. For the longest time, I wondered why people would go out of their way to help me, a complete stranger. My mind couldn't make sense of it. As time has passed, what I've realized is that I was the recipient of grace. Grace is something we don't talk about much as a society, but it is something that is real and truly exists. I've always found grace to be a bit difficult to define, but I like to think of grace as something you don't necessarily expect or deserve, but receive anyway. To receive grace feels like receiving a small miracle. I still don't entirely understand it, but I think it's because it is something more understood with the heart than the mind. One must remove barriers within oneself in order to receive it. And somehow, gratitude is related to all of this, to the ability to accept the gift of grace.

Overall, the experience of having my dog rescued by a group of strangers in the community left me with the understanding of the power of showing up. It also was a gift related to understanding random acts of kindness, and made me reflect on the small things we can do for each other each day, as we go about our lives, such as holding a door open for someone. Or smiling at someone as you walk by them. Or listening to someone talk and share their thoughts on life, even if you don't know them. 

This actually happened to me the other day -- I was at the doctor's office and my doctor began talking to me about life, and all the things wrong with social media. We talked about COVID, the need for vaccinations, and what she felt like is being more and more lost in human connection these days. I really enjoyed the conversation, and to experience it, involved me showing up for her, and not rushing through my day, but being present to the moment. It involved me showing up for her, because I really valued what she had to say as a human, outside of her role for me as a doctor. I had many errands to run, as usual, but I could tell that what she had to share was important to her, and in listening, I found myself learning something more than I would have been able to learn on my own. So in showing up for her, I somehow showed up for myself. 

This is the mystery involved in showing up.

This holiday season, I invite you to reflect on this question of how to show up for yourself and for others. Have there been times in your life when someone showed up for you? Or when you showed up for them? And what was that like for you? 

I know it's been a tough year, but let's find small ways to show up for one another. It means so much more than words can really say. Thanks for reading my ramble and showing up! lol.

Best, 

Dr. Victoria Ranade