Hope+Wellness

Stella Assefa, LCSW

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Hi there, I’m Stella :)

Stella Assefa, LCSW

fully Licensed in: Virginia

Locations: Washington DC; Falls church, va; teletherapy

One of worst feelings in life is feeling powerlessness — the sense that no matter how hard you try, you can’t change your behavior, emotions, circumstances, or patterns that keep repeating. In relationships, you may see this take place after every fight, watching the same patterns unfold, wondering why the same triggers, reactions, and painful cycles continue despite your best intentions.

When it comes to emotions, it can often feel as if they’re driving the car while you sit helplessly in the passenger seat, watching as the car speeds toward the edge of a cliff. In those moments, your emotion seems to have full control over your body, mind, and thoughts. As a result they may feel overwhelming, and you may avoid feeling or facing them. You might find yourself constantly asking, Why do I keep doing this?, Why won’t this get better? or Why does this always happen to me?

I’m here to help you find answers to these questions. My goal is to help you rediscover hope, break free from patterns within yourself and your relationships that keep you feeling stuck, and regain control over your thoughts, behaviors and emotions. Emotions no longer have to be the enemy — together we’ll work toward helping you break old patterns, develop healthier relationships, and rediscover a healthier and happier version of yourself that has existed within you all along.

At the heart of my work is the deepest belief that people deserve to experience hope during some of the darkest moments in their lives. When you’ve been experiencing pain and suffering for a long time, it can be difficult to imagine life feeling any different. Pain can sometimes become so familiar that it begins to feel like the only reality we know. I want you to know that there’s a light at the end of whatever you may be facing.

I truly believe it is a privilege to walk alongside you and hold space for the most vulnerable parts of you as we move toward that light, together. I’m here to help you discover new possibilities for healing, cultivate a life of meaning and wholeness, and reconnect with the strengths that already exist within you. I want you to experience that hope you may have thought was lost and to show you that you are not alone, and that I see you.

I specialize in working with teens, young adults, and adults navigating trauma, ADHD, anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship challenges, and life transitions. I’m also passionate about working with couples who find themselves caught in painful communication patterns, who are looking to reconnect and cultivate a deeper relationship with respect, stability and emotional safety. Many clients I work with find themselves feeling stuck in the same patterns, often feeling powerless over their thoughts and emotions and not knowing why things don’t seem to change or get better. My passion for my work comes from helping people break these patterns, see meaningful progress that sparks hope, and find the answers they’ve been searching for.

I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, with a bachelors of science in Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University, and a Masters of Social Work at George Mason University. My approach is trauma-informed and grounded in evidence-based modalities, including psychodynamic therapy, Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and mindfulness with a focus on creating meaningful, lasting change. I have extensive experience across the lifespan, working with children, adolescents, adults, and older adults, from diverse cultural, socioeconomic, and clinical backgrounds, in settings ranging from community-based and in-home care to private practice.

Philosophy

I’m passionate about helping people experience a safe space for them to share the deepest parts of themselves with someone they can trust, in an environment free of shame and judgment. At the end of the day, we are all human, we have all had our moments, struggles and unique battles so who am I to judge the parts of you that make you human? I’m here to offer you a space where you feel safe and supported, where your pain and vulnerability are met with kindness and humanity.

I bring an attachment-focused lens and approach to my work with clients. I believe that our earliest relationships and life experiences shape the way we see ourselves, others, and the world around us. They influence how we love, respond to stress, navigate conflict, and make sense of our emotions. Together, we'll explore these patterns with curiosity and compassion to better understand how they may be shaping your life today. By addressing the core roots of your struggles, we can begin to create lasting change, deepen your relationships, and help you move toward a greater sense of love, safety, and wholeness.

My approach is also person-centered and ecclectic. This means that our work together is collaborative, stems from a variety of modalities and is tailored to your unique needs. My goal is to help you explore the deeper emotions, experiences, and patterns that may be contributing to your current concerns or struggles. Together, we’l move beyond the surface level and simply managing symptoms and dig deeper to help you find greater clarity, insight, and relief. I provide evidence-based treatments including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and attachment-based interventions, integrating these approaches into your treatment to best support your individual needs, goals, and preferences.

I’m passionate about providing therapy that is not only genuine and relatable, but culturally sensitive, client centered and trauma informed. I firmly believe that meaningful progress can be achieved when you feel emotionally safe and when your background, values and beliefs are honored, so I work to create a place where you will feel safe, supported, and welcome to be fully yourself.

Specialty Areas

Anxiety & depression in teens

I specialize in working with teens ages 15 and older experiencing anxiety and depression. Teens may struggle with overwhelming stress, persistent worry, low mood, irritability, low self-esteem, academic pressure, and difficulty managing emotions or motivation. I started working with teens because I believe these years are both some of the most important and challenging years in a person’s life. I can recall the relatable moments so many teens experience, feeling like they can’t fully open up, forcing themselves to deal with their pain on their own. The most rewarding part of my work with them is building that safe and trusting relationship and witnessing their vulnerability and growth. I love creating a space where teens feel heard, understood, and accepted just as they are. Watching them grow in confidence, discover their strengths, and realize they’re capable of more than they imagined is one of the most meaningful parts of the work I do. I provide a supportive, nonjudgmental space to help teens better understand their thoughts and feelings while developing healthy coping skills, improving emotional regulation, and building confidence. The focus is on gaining insight to learn about themselves, reducing symptoms and strengthening resilience so they can better navigate school, relationships, and daily life.

adhd & neurodivergence

I help young adults and adults with ADHD better understand how their brain operates and implement strategies that support focus, time-management, emotional regulation, and day to day functioning. I also address feelings of shame, guilt and insecurity while helping clients process these emotions and move towards self-compassion.

ADHD & neurodivergence in Women

I specialize in working with women with ADHD, many of whom have spent years struggling with overwhelm, anxiety, perfectionism, or low self-esteem without understanding why. Because ADHD often presents differently in women, symptoms are frequently overlooked or misdiagnosed, leading many women to receive a diagnosis later in life.

I provide a supportive, collaborative space to help women better understand how ADHD impacts their daily lives, relationships, work, and emotional well-being while developing practical strategies to improve focus, organization, confidence, and overall functioning.

young adulthood, relationships, identity, & life transitions

I help clients navigate difficult periods of change and uncertainty, including identity exploration, evolving relationships, and decisions surrounding their career. My goal is to help clients work towards building confidence, gaining clarity, developing a stronger sense of direction and managing the stress they may experience along the way.

Relational trauma & attachment issues

I specialize in working with individuals healing from relational trauma, including childhood attachment wounds and past toxic or abusive relationships. Many of my clients struggle with repeated patterns of unhealthy relationships, difficulty trusting others, fears of abandonment, codependency, people-pleasing, low self-worth, or challenges with intimacy and attachment.

Together, we explore how past experiences shape current relationship patterns, identify barriers to healthy connection, and build the self-awareness, boundaries, and self-worth needed to create more secure, healthy and fulfilling relationships. Breaking the pattern is possible and this is the first step. 

couples therapy

Many couples come to therapy feeling stuck in the same painful cycles of conflict, where emotions quickly take over and conversations end with both partners feeling unheard, misunderstood, and disconnected. While healthy communication skills are important, I believe lasting change comes from understanding the deeper patterns driving these interactions. We will actually address the cause, not just treat the symptom. Together, we’ll explore how past experiences shape emotional triggers, insecurity, defensiveness, criticism, and emotional dysregulation, while building practical skills to regulate emotions, communicate more effectively, and reconnect with empathy and understanding. My goal is to help you break free from unhealthy patterns, create emotional safety, and build a stronger, more secure relationship where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued. In this space, I am not the judge or the jury so your goal is not to prove to me why you’re right. Instead, the goal is to prove to each other that this relationship is worth it.

adults of immigrant parents, first-generation Americans

I specialize in working with first-generation American adults and others who may not identify as first-generation Americans, who are navigating the intersection of multiple cultures where they may find themselves not fully belonging in either world. Growing up between different cultural norms, expectations, and beliefs—especially around family roles and mental health—can have a lasting impact on self-worth, identity, and relationships. You may find yourself struggling with guilt, people-pleasing, boundary-setting, self-love, perfectionism, communication, expressing or sitting with emotions, or feeling caught between who you are and who you were expected to be. Our work together will offer a space to unpack these experiences, make sense of your story, and move toward a more grounded and self-defined way of living.

 
 

Additional Areas of Expertise

Adjusting to Life Transitions
Anxiety
Generalized Anxiety
General Stress of Being Human
Generational Trauma
Life Stress
Life Transitions
Low Self Esteem
Personal Growth
Relationship and Communication Difficulties
Self-Care
Self-Criticism
Self-Esteem
Stress Management
Quarter-Life Crisis
Young Adults

more about ME

hobbies + what I like to do for fun

In my free time you will either see me sketching or painting people and animals (especially dogs!), spending intentional time with my friends and family, enjoying live music, hanging out with my cats or taking long walks in nature trails while listening to “coffee shop music” (think Norah Jones).

why I became a therapist

I wanted to become a therapist to show people that there is hope, and that suffering or feeling stuck no longer has to be someone’s normal. My goal is to show people that the long term peace is worth the short term discomfort and that they are not alone. Mental health makes up so much of what makes us human, and even though the understanding of it is not universal, the need for it is.

favorite QUOTES

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.
— Christine Caine
You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.
— Maya Angelou
There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.
— John Green