9 Commonly Asked Questions About The Therapeutic Process
Deciding to start therapy is an amazing and brave step.
But it’s also one that comes with a lot of questions–mental health is only beginning to be openly talked about, but even though we seem to be willing to talk about seeking care a little more openly, the process and everything that goes into it is still a mystery for a lot of people. And that uncertainty can make an already vulnerable experience feel even more frightening.
Since therapy is already a vulnerable experience, we want to help make it as easy and supportive to begin the process as we can, so we’ve put together this list of common questions and further resources for each to help you get started.
How do I find a therapist that’s right for me?
This is often the biggest hurdle in the process. Even without accounting for things like location, hourly cost or accepted insurance, it can be daunting to find someone to sit with you while you’re at your most vulnerable, to listen to your areas of insecurity or where you need support or thoughts you wouldn’t share with anyone else. First: remind yourself that it’s okay to feel nervous about this possibility. Don’t try to shove that feeling away out of shame. In fact–when you’re starting the process of therapy, that can be a helpful place to begin. Let your therapist know what apprehension you’re feeling and why–the two of you can explore the fears that come up and ease you into the therapeutic process as you do so.
There’s a lot that goes into selecting a therapist that is right for you. You need to consider:
Your priorities; what are the areas you’re looking for the most support in?
Your preferences; do age or gender matter to you? Is it important to have a therapist who shares a marginalized identity that you hope to discuss?
What is your location? Are you open to telehealth?
Do you know anyone who has gone through the process of finding a therapist before? Can they recommend anywhere to start?
Follow our step by step guide on finding a therapist that’s right for you here.
What’s the commitment involved in the therapeutic process?
Therapy is a financial and time commitment. It is an investment in yourself and in your ability to examine long-standing patterns in your life with the goal of practicing new, more effective thoughts and behaviors. Such change isn’t easy and it doesn’t happen overnight, but it can profoundly impact your quality of life, including your sense of self, relationships, work, and health. We believe that therapy is one of the most important investments of them all — in yourself and overall well being. When you feel centered, grounded, and comfortable in yourself and in who you are, the rest of your life can fall into place.
What do I need to know before my first therapy session?
When you’re going somewhere new, is it helpful for someone who has been there before to walk you through what to expect? That’s what we did in this blog–click through to read it if you’re coming up on your first therapy session. The basics are:
Check if you need to do paperwork ahead of time
Review any contact from your therapist; if there’s anything specific you need to bring with you, they’ll have indicated so in any emails or texts, etc.
Prepare to start with housekeeping; there are administrative logistics to figure out before diving into the work
Prepare for your own emotional experience; ask yourself what you need to feel safe being vulnerable in a new situation, and how to ease yourself back into your day after the session is complete.
What should I do with mental health content I see online?
You might be starting your therapy journey because of how social media has helped to normalize discussing mental health issues. And while there are a lot of useful tools and resources online, it’s also important to use your own therapist as a reference. Remember, you’re the expert on your emotional experience and they’re the expert on mental health in general–if you see something online that resonates, bring it up in session and discuss it with your therapist! With the expertise you’re both bringing to the table, you can figure out if there’s something more you need to explore based on the resource you found, or if there’s some context and information you’re missing.
You can find our best practices on fact checking mental health information on social media here.
Why does the therapeutic relationship matter?
Speaking of therapy content on social media…if you can learn about mental health online, is it necessary to have a therapist of your own? Short answer: yes! Longer answer: information you find online can be a great jumping off point for learning about mental health, but therapy is more than just gaining information. The process doesn’t start and stop with diagnosis! A key part of the healing that happens in therapy? The relationship building between you and your therapist. With a relationship where you’re safe to fully express yourself you can start to learn new relational patterns and heal old wounds.
How can you make the most between sessions?
Engaging in therapy is a bigger commitment than 50 minutes once a week. While that will be where you do a lot of hard and vulnerable work, if you’re only showing up in that way for yourself while you’re in session, you’re not getting the most out of the experience. In order to fully engage in the process you have to do things like take time to reflect on what was brought up in session, practice new skills learned, take small risks, etc. This is also something you can discuss with your therapist–how would they recommend you practice what you’re learning in session when you’re on your own? Or to start, check out our guide on how to make the most of your time between sessions.
What happens when your therapist upsets you?
Therapy is supposed to be an emotionally safe place for you–but being safe doesn’t mean you’ll never be hurt. It does, however, mean that you can be sure to address that feeling of hurt without worrying about facing repercussions. This is part of how therapy works to write new relationship scripts–it gives you the chance to learn what it feels like to have your hurt heard and honored.
However, it can be jarring to have your feelings hurt in a place that is supposed to be emotionally supportive. It’s not an insurmountable obstacle, but it can take some patience and practice to learn how to address it when your therapist hurts your feelings. But, when you do take the risk to practice bringing it up, it gets easier to do in your other relationships.
What to do when you’re dreading your next appointment?
Therapy isn’t always fun. But it’s important to figure out if you’re feeling anxious because the space isn’t emotionally safe for you, or because there’s something else you don’t want to face. Follow this guide to figure out what to do instead of canceling when you’re dreading your next appointment.
How involved is therapy?
At Hope+Wellness, we believe in tailoring therapy for each individual. Some clients find it therapeutic to talk about their feelings and to explore patterns. Others seek a more active approach, involving interventions, exercises and thoughtful actions to implement outside of therapy. We try to meet each client where they are at and are able to incorporate different approaches if this is what you are looking for as part of therapy. Overall, it is important to consider that you will get out as much as you put in to your work together with your therapist.
If you’re looking for support in the process of finding a therapist, contact us and we can help personally match you to a therapist based on your needs.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) was developed to treat OCD, and it can be an incredibly effective form of treatment for folks dealing with obsessive thoughts and compulsions.