Cultivating Strong Community Ties for Better Mental Health
We recently talked about healthism–the belief that pursuit of health is the most important aspect of life; a mindset that equates healthy with good and unhealthy with bad or lazy–and how it can impede our healing.
If you missed it, healthism, rather than emphasizing a loving self care ethic, uses shame and guilt as motivators and is limited by a narrow, inaccurate view of health. With healthism, things like mental or chronic illness are overlooked, holistic health is not considered, and it often functions as a tool of capitalism–in the sense that the purpose of healthism is often not about helping you tune into your own needs in order to tend to your own wellness, but rather about selling you some new tool to take care of your “health” for you.
The main way this functions is by making everything the individual’s fault–your health issues are your fault because of the habits you do or don’t have, the food you do or don’t eat, or the wellness tools you do or don’t buy.
Within healthism there is no recognition of the importance of the collective.
We can look at that same quote from Healthism and the Medicalization of Everyday Life by Robert Crawford:
“…healthism situates the problem of health and disease at the level of the individual. Solutions are formulated at that level as well. To the extent that healthism shapes popular beliefs, we will continue to have a non-political, and therefore, ultimately ineffective conception and strategy of health promotion. Further, by elevating health to a super value, a metaphor for all that is good in life, healthism reinforces the privatization of the struggle for generalized well-being.”
Crawford was speaking politically here, but it’s more than politics alone. The removal of the individual from the collective reduces not only political power, but your mental health, sense of belonging and purpose, physical health, access to resources, and more.
In short, community is crucial to healing!
Why community matters to health:
To put it simply, communities are crucial to health because everyone needs a support system–health is made up of many moving parts, all of which can be tended to by different community relationships and resources.
Communities offer not just one option, but a garden of options for support; through building relationships with friends, family, neighbors, local businesses, community organizers & artists you open yourself up to a world of possibilities. You create a world full of people who can help you creatively, financially, professionally, spiritually, domestically, medically, etc. The basic function of a community is to make sure you don’t have to face any aspect of life alone.
We live in a culture that doesn’t value community in the same way other cultures do.
The American dream and the American work ethic demand progress, upward movement, hustle, and making a name for yourself by yourself. The value is on what an individual can do alone, and how quickly.
Consider American culture, where it’s common for young adults to move out of their family homes as soon as they are financially able to do so (and sometimes before), as opposed to many Eastern cultures, where it’s common for homes to be multigenerational, living together with three or more generations of family members to the benefit of all.
That has shifted slightly in the wake of COVID, where many experienced how isolated our capitalistic values system has made us, and many are finding they long to be more active members in their communities, or have stronger community ties.
What do strong community ties do for our mental health?
One thing strong community ties can do for us is help to decrease feelings of anxiety and depression.
If you know you don’t have to figure a way through everything on your own, not every obstacle feels so emergent, so high stakes. There's safety in community that can help mitigate feelings of anxiety, and feelings of depression can decrease as you become less isolated.
Strong community ties also help you to practice healing through relationships.
Part of the work we do in therapy is the work of healing through a new, safer relationship. We’re able to come up against feelings of fear, anxiety, rage, shame, and more have someone sit with us as we find new ways to cope. Supportive communities give you the chance to write new relationship scripts in similar ways! When you’ve experienced a lack of love or safety in traditional community relationships (like family), building a chosen family through community relationships can help you to heal that wound, and learn new, healthier ways to be in relationships of all kinds.
Being an active part of a strong community can also help you identify your values.
It’s hard to figure out what is important to us when we’re living a life of isolation. Finding groups of like-minded people, or people with similar interests can help get your mind turning when it comes to what is important to you and how you would like to live those values through action.
Ways to build your community:
If you’re feeling lonely, it can be hard to know where to start. Here are a few ideas, some very easy, some requiring a little more intention, to start building a community around you:
Make time to see local friends regularly
Introduce yourself to your neighbors
Go for walks in your neighborhood regularly
Introduce yourself to anyone you see regularly who you might not know (your mailman, your barista, the person on the corner you pass every week, etc.)
Take a class-local artists often hold classes on their craft, libraries and recreation centers often have free, pay what you can, or affordable classes, and may know other places in the community that offer classes
Join a club–you can find them on places like Meetup, post on your local subreddit to ask about specific kinds of clubs, or ask friends or people you know if they’re in clubs they enjoy! If you feel awkward about asking people directly, you could do something easy like post on your instagram story and ask locals to DM you with any info they have on clubs–club members are always excited to get new people interested in their events!
Find a server of local events, subscribe to local papers’ newsletters to stay up to date with local events
Go to free community centers like the library; they often have a calendar of free or affordable events, may facilitate classes or book clubs, etc.
Community gardens are becoming more popular–check for one in or near your neighborhood, see if they’re looking for volunteers or if they have social events to help support the garden
Go to local independent shops; local bookstores often have book clubs or reading events, local record shops often have cheap local shows, indie movie theaters sometimes have discounted movie + discussion nights. Independent shops are common spots for local clubs to hold events, if there’s somewhere you like to shop, see if they have a calendar of events!
Find somewhere to volunteer
If you’re religious or spiritual, attend in person services, spiritual events, etc.
Taking steps to reduce feelings of isolation can be hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Get in touch with our office today to get started with one of our expert clinicians.
The problem with loneliness is that it tricks us into thinking we’re the only one who feels that way, that everyone else is happy and connected and supported by their friends, loved ones, and community, and out of shame we end up isolating, only making the loneliness worse. But the truth is most of us feel lonely every now and then.