6 Journaling Prompts to Help You Examine Your Relationships
It is a strange and scary time right now.
With the spread of COVID-19 many of us are worried for our own health, worried for the health of loved ones, and we’re all facing a huge shift in our daily lives. Whether it’s due to increased professional stress (both increased work for essential workers, and loss of work for non-essential folks), health stress, or personal stress from self-quarantining–we’re all facing big life changes now.
And while it can definitely be frightening and overwhelming, this can also be a time to do some self reflection. Taking care of ourselves is more important now than ever, and that includes our mental and social wellbeing.
Along with making sure we’re giving ourselves lots of good foods, rest, and following social distancing guidelines, we should make time to check in with the status and health of our various relationships.
It might seem odd–since social distancing is restricting our capabilities to be social in many ways (though not completely!)–to focus on relationships right now. But the distancing can actually help to provide us with new, useful and interesting insights to our own needs.
Often we take our social lives and relationships for granted, and this new space and distance between all of us can help to shed some light on what types of relationships bring us comfort, which relationships are reciprocal, which are fulfilling–and which are not.
That’s why today I’ve put together a list of journaling prompts for you to use to examine your relationships while in self-quarantine.
Prompt: “I feel most seen + loved when…”
Knowing what makes us feel loved the most is the first step in cultivating relationships that provide those things. When we explore what makes us feel seen, known, and loved, we are giving ourselves permission to acknowledge our own needs. And then, with that acknowledgement, and the knowledge of what makes us feel the most loved, we can then share that information with our loved ones. Even if it feels silly (ex.: “I like it when you text me X times a day”) it’s important to recognize and share what makes you feel loved! Knowing and sharing your favorite ways to be loved gives the people in your life (friends, family, partners) the opportunity to express their love for you in a way that will mean the most to you.
Prompt: “My relationships provide….”
This is a good prompt to examine the overall health of your relationships. Take a look at the significant relationships in your life (partners, close friends, etc.) What do those relationships provide? Is it support? Love? Advice? Joy? If you can’t figure out what positive things are being provided within your relationships, it may be time to examine whether that relationship has run its course. If a friendship only provides you and the friend a space to come together and gossip or talk negatively about yourselves and others, it may be time to let the friendship go.
It also helps to examine what it is you actually want your relationships to provide. What are the needs you can meet on your own, and what are the needs you need help from others meeting? Use this as a guiding principle when forming new or evaluating existing relationships.
Prompt: “Conversations with [name] make me feel…”
Think about the most significant relationships in your life currently. Are they providing what you need? Do they make you feel supported? Imagine you just had dinner with them. What are you feeling after that dinner? Refreshed? Happy? Supported? Or are you drained? Frustrated? Tense? Taking time to examine the feelings we get after interacting with the different people in our lives helps us to determine which relationships in our lives are healthy, and which are not.
Prompt: “I feel drained in relationships that…”
What is it that drains you in a relationship? Think back to a relationship (romantic or platonic) that has left you feeling burned out or drained. What was it about that relationship that made you feel that way? Were boundaries crossed or ignored? Was there constant negative talk? Did you feel like you couldn’t be your true self?
Prompt: “I feel tense when thinking about my relationship with….”
Is there a relationship in your life that needs your attention? Identifying which relationships leave you feeling tense can help you work out exactly what it is that makes you feel tense within those relationships. And knowing what triggers that feeling in your relationships helps inform you what you should be looking out for when forming new relationships–and what to address with those people who do leave you feeling drained.
Prompt: “I feel relieved & supported when thinking about my relationship with…”
On the flip side of the last prompt, it’s equally important to learn which relationships make us feel our best. It can help teach you which “green flags” to look out for when making new relationships, and which needs to express in other relationships that may need some attention.
Prompt: “I feel like the best version of myself with…” or “I’m comfortable being vulnerable with…”
What are the conditions within relationships that allow you to feel comfortable being your truest, or best self? What conditions allow you to feel comfortable being vulnerable? Feeling comfortable being vulnerable is a major part of healthy relationships, so figuring out exactly what helps you to feel like that will help you replicate that in other relationships, and will let you know what to look out for (and what to avoid) as you form new relationships.
You may have noticed that many of these journal prompts, while about relationship reflection, actually took the form of self reflection. That’s because, in order to thrive in relationships, we first need to learn about ourselves. When we know our needs, wants, and deal breakers, we are able to show up 100% in our relationships. And when we are able to show up fully, we are able to make the most of the relationships in our lives.
If you need some extra support in figuring out how to start your journey of self care and self reflection, we can help. Contact us today!
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