Why Being Bored Is Good for Your Mental Health

How often do you allow yourself to be bored? 

Boredom has a reputation for being a negative state of mind, but boredom actually has benefits for your mental health, like improving creativity, curiosity, and self-control. 

Everyone’s brain is different, so boredom can be an individual experience. Some people’s brains (like certain folks with ADHD, for example) crave more stimulation and experiences, and so their threshold for what’s boring will be higher than someone whose brain works differently. What makes you feel bored won’t necessarily make your best friend or sister or coworker or neighbor feel bored. 

Boredom doesn’t mean mindlessly numbing out, like by scrolling through social media. Boredom, without distractions, can make you feel restless or distressed because it forces you to feel your feelings and be in the present moment, both of which are hard to do.  

Feeling bored can feel stressful for a few reasons:

Cultural pressures 

In our capitalist world, we often measure ourselves by our productivity levels, even if we don’t realize we’re doing it. It always seems like there’s something else to do and that taking a break is lazy or selfish. Remember, you don’t exist to be productive. You can do absolutely nothing and you’d still be a person worthy of love, care, and respect. Offer that love, care, and respect to yourself when you feel cultural pressure to always keep busy. 

Unused to being with yourself 

Being present with yourself can be hard, even painful. When we’re in the moment with no distractions, it can be hard to deal with the thoughts, feelings, and urges that come up. Sometimes we stay so busy that we don’t leave enough time to check in with ourselves and process our thoughts and feelings. It can feel scary to slow down enough to be with yourself, especially if it’s been a while. Learning how to be present with yourself takes time, so don’t be too hard on yourself when it’s tricky. 

We are afraid of being boring (vs being bored)

There’s a somewhat common phrase that says “only boring people get bored.” Beliefs like this contribute to people being afraid to be bored, even though boredom is actually good for you. 

Just because you have moments of boredom in your life doesn’t mean that you yourself are boring. It’s impossible for you to be entertained every single minute of every day without being disconnected from yourself and your needs. Figuring out how to take care of yourself requires introspection, or looking inward and feeling our feelings, even when they’re hard. Doing this doesn’t make you boring - it makes you human. 

Unsupportive coping behaviors

Some people fear or resent boredom because of the way they (or their loved ones) cope with  being bored. Coping skills are meant to help us through tough situations, but they don’t always support us long-term. Some people cope with boredom by acting in self destructive ways or by lashing out at others. Some people cope by using substances or engaging in risky behaviors. Not everyone copes this way, but the negative associations you might have with how people cope when they’re bored might contribute to the way you think about boredom. 

How is being bored good for your mental health? 

Even though being bored can bring up some complicated feelings, it’s actually beneficial to your mental health in a few ways. Being bored: 

Gives you time to process

Our brains do a lot in the background, even when we feel bored. When we give ourselves time to rest and do nothing, it gives our brains a chance to process and encode what’s going on. It takes a lot of cognitive power to go through day to day life, and giving your brain a break lets it play catch up. 

When you’re bored, this processing might be done in the background, where you don’t notice it, and sometimes you might process things more mindfully. Thinking through your day, reflecting on things you learned, and even daydreaming can help you process your thoughts and feelings if you give yourself the time to do it. 

Boosts creativity 

Have you ever tried to figure out a problem, and then after taking a long shower or a nap, the answer felt like it was right in front of you? Sometimes giving yourself some space to be bored and to do nothing frees up your brain to find new solutions or make connections that you couldn’t make with so much on your mind. 

Boredom when done right, with no distractions, gives your brain a chance to wander. You might notice new things that you’ve missed before, or reflect on what’s going on. Using your imagination in moments of boredom can help you think in ways you don't normally, which can help boost creativity. 

Allows curiosity

Our brains crave excitement and novelty, and when you’re bored you give yourself a chance to be curious. Curiosity and our search for excitement often lead to important breakthroughs on a personal level and on a cultural level. Being bored can help people think of new solutions to problems, or to take action on something important. Without boredom, we would have fewer opportunities to be curious and explore new things. 

Improves self-control

Learning how to be bored is a skill that many of us have forgotten about, or didn’t learn in the first place. We have screens with us almost constantly now, so it’s really easy to avoid boredom by finding somewhere to scroll. Letting yourself be bored gives you a chance to exercise a little self-control instead of opting for mindless distraction. 

Getting yourself comfortable with the uncomfortable feeling of boredom is an important skill.  There are lots of uncomfortable emotions out there that we can’t avoid. Learning how to regulate yourself emotionally during those moments is a skill that you can rely on in the future, no matter what comes your way. 

Are you looking for more ways to support your mental health? Working with a therapist is a great way to learn more about yourself and what your specific needs are so you can feel more aligned with who you are. Reach out to our office today to get started on your mental health journey.  

How to Unlink Your Self-Worth From Your Job Status

How to Unlink Your Self-Worth From Your Job Status

In the United States, we put a lot of focus on work and productivity. When we meet someone new, we often ask “So, what do you do?” right away. We define ourselves by our jobs, and so it can be damaging to our sense of self-worth when we’re not being productive.

However, in the last year, unemployment has soared due to the covid pandemic, and many people are still out of work. We often hear statistics on unemployment, but we often don’t see the reality behind those numbers. Some people are also feeling conflicted because as jobs open back up, some businesses are having a hard time hiring. After the last year, many people have decided they don’t want to work low paying service jobs where they’re treated terribly. Some people aren’t vaccinated and don’t feel safe going back to work. Some people have realized that the path they were on is no longer the right fit for them and are trying to figure out where to go next.

If you’ve been out of work for any length of time, you know that lots of feelings can come up unexpectedly about your job status. Even if you’re happy with your current situation, the expectations and judgement from other people can be exhausting. 

If you’ve spent most of your life tying your self-worth to your work, you’re certainly not alone. Here are some ideas for how to cope when you feel like your self-worth relies on your productivity or job status. 

Be nice to yourself 

This advice is true for so many things. Lots of us are hard on ourselves without really knowing or understanding why. It’s a habit that we’ve formed, and it can be hard to break. Try to talk to yourself kindly and with compassion. If you’re having a hard time with this, imagine you’re talking to your best friend. How would you talk to them about this? Would you tell them they’re worthless because they’re not working right now? Of course you wouldn’t. Channel that same compassion toward yourself. 

Ask yourself: Who profits when I feel this way? 

Insecurity makes the world go round. It’s how advertisers convince you to buy things. When you notice feelings like “I”m not good enough” or “I’m only worthy when I have regular work”, try to dig a little deeper. Where are these thoughts coming from? Are they true? What is the evidence of their truth? Is this sense of insecurity trying to nudge me toward buying something to soothe my discomfort? Reminding yourself that someone is profiting off of your distress can be a helpful way to remind yourself that there’s nothing wrong with the way you feel, but you don’t have to act on it. 

Use mantras or affirmations to remind yourself you are inherently worthy 

We are reminded from a young age that our work is our identity. We talk about what we want to be when we grow up and focus on careers, instead of on our values or our emotional state. It takes a lot of work to undo that programming. When you notice those old messages coming up, you can remind yourself that they’re not true. It takes practice, so repeating affirmations or mantras to yourself on a regular basis can help counteract the feelings that you’re not good enough. What you say to yourself matters.

Cultivate interests outside of things you can get paid for

Your worth has nothing to do with the value you create monetarily. While everyone deserves to be paid for their labor, there’s also freedom in finding joy in things you don’t get paid for. Not everything has to be monetized. You can start a hobby without turning it into a side hustle. It’s okay to spend time on things that don’t add to your bank statement. 

Participate in mutual aid groups

If you ever need the reminder that we are not alone, there are tons of organizers doing the work to bring together resources to support local folks. Even if you’re not able to donate monetarily right now to mutual aid, it can be a helpful reminder that there is help out there outside of our traditional systems of charity or government aid. We have the ability to help each other. We have this idea that if you’re not in the traditional job sphere, working 9-5, then you can’t get help, but that’s not true. Local organizations do the work every day to keep people from falling through the cracks. Can you donate time to an organization? Can you drop off some food at a local food shelf? Can you share local mutual aid requests with your network? All of these things help. 

If you are not working right now, for whatever reason, know that you are still a worthy, valuable person no matter what. That will always be true, regardless of your employment status. Your worth is not defined by your productivity or the money you can make. It’s a hard lesson to learn, because we spend so much of our lives hearing the opposite is true. Be gentle and try not to judge yourself for whatever feelings come up.

If you’re looking for more support as you deal with the fallout from the pandemic, including unemployment, our clinicians can help you during this tricky time.