10 More Cognitive Distortions to Be Aware Of

Our goal at Hope + Wellness is to help all of our clients live happier, healthier lives where they can cope with anything that comes their way. One way we do this is by teaching coping skills and using evidence based modalities to treat mental health disorders. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is one modality we use that helps people challenge their negative thought patterns and eventually change their way of thinking.

You might wonder why you’d want to change the way you think - after all, isn’t that what makes you, you? However, sometimes our thoughts can lead to major distress. If you’ve experienced a mental health disorder, you may be familiar with having to challenge your thoughts. It’s important to remember that our thoughts and feelings aren’t facts, and just because we think something doesn’t make it true. We use CBT to treat a number of different issues, like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, perinatal mood + anxiety disorders, sleep challenges, and relationship problems.

One aspect of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is identifying the patterns in your thinking. We have a name for these patterns in CBT -  they’re called cognitive distortions. A cognitive distortion is a faulty way of thinking that we learn to believe is true. CBT teaches you to identify your cognitive distortions so you can challenge the negative thought patterns and not let them control your life. We’ve talked about cognitive distortions before on the blog - we described 8 different distortions that pop up commonly for people. However, there are far more than just 8 so we’re back with more examples. The first step to changing your negative thought patterns is to spot them, so keep an eye out for any of these cognitive distortions in your thoughts. 

Here are 10 more cognitive distortions to watch out for in your thinking: 

1. Magnification + Minimization

Magnification is when you exaggerate the importance of events. Minimization is the opposite - it’s when you downplay the importance of events. For example, you oversleep and miss an important interview, you may magnify the importance of your alarm going off at the right time and minimize your role in it not going off at the right time (i.e. you forgot to charge your phone). This cognitive distortion keeps you from accepting your role in what happened.

2. Should statements

Should statements are beliefs that things should always be a certain way. When you’re constantly reminding yourself that you ‘should’ be doing something, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Should statements give you unreasonable expectations for what you’re able to accomplish and make you feel less than for doing your best. If you use these a lot, you may never feel like what you do is good enough.

3. Magical thinking

Magical thinking is the belief that your thoughts or actions will influence a specific outcome. You may think that because you’re a good person, bad things can never happen to you. Magical thinking can also be when you assume that your problems will be magically solved. For example, you might feel like your “real life” will start when you lose weight or find a romantic partner. This type of thinking can make us feel like we’re in control when that’s not really the case. 

4. Fortune telling

Fortune telling is a distortion that’s related to jumping to conclusions, a distortion we covered in our last post. Jumping to conclusions means you’ve decided something without evidence. One aspect of this is predicting what people will do or say based on your interpretation of events. You might feel like you know how things will go, so there’s no hope doing anything differently. However, people have their own free will and you have no control over what they’ll do, nor can you predict it. It might make you feel in control at the time, but overall it will leave you feeling lonely. 

5. Control fallacies

Control fallacies are the false idea that we are controlled by either external or internal factors. If you feel that you are externally controlled, you might feel like you have no control over your life. You may feel like fate is deciding things for you and you’re just along for the ride. If you feel that you’re internally controlled, you have the false belief that you are able to control everything around you at all times. It can be hard to let go of the idea that not everything is about you, but it’s important to start giving up that belief. 

6. Fallacy of fairness

This is the false belief that everything in life must be fair and that you are the only one capable of judging what is fair. This fallacy can leave you feeling resentful because you feel that you know better than everyone else but they won’t believe you. However, it’s important to remember that life isn’t fair, even if you strongly believe it should be. Insisting that everything always be fair is a recipe for hopelessness and resentment. 

7. Blaming

This type of cognitive distortion is when someone places blame for something solely on one person - either someone else or themselves. People who blame others always find a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and people who blame themselves always find a way to take on something that isn’t theirs to carry. The fact is that sometimes things happen, and it is our fault. Sometimes something happens to us, and we have nothing to do with it. 

8. Fallacy of change

This fallacy tells us that if we pressure or cajole someone enough, they will change the way we want them to. People are allowed to make their own decisions, even if you don’t agree. It is not on others to change their behavior to make you happy - you need to make yourself happy. It’s not fair to put your happiness on other people. 

9. Always being right 

When someone struggles with always being right, they find it almost impossible to admit that they are wrong. This distortion can involve constantly trying to prove that you’re right by whatever means necessary, even though that can be very alienating to others. Being right is not more important than people’s feelings. 

10. Labeling

Labeling is when you minimize something down to a single (usually negative) descriptor. For example, you might have yourself labeled as “lazy” even though there isn’t much evidence for it. You might label other people as “jerks” or “failures”. This is a dangerous type of overgeneralization that can leave you doubting your self worth and alienating others - after all, no one wants to be labeled. 

To learn more about CBT and how it can help you challenge your negative thought patterns, get in touch with us today. Our clinicians have training in CBT and they can help you find effective ways to cope while you challenge your negative thought patterns. 

8 Common Cognitive Distortions to Watch Out For

At Hope + Wellness, we used evidence-based practices to help people live happier, healthier lives where people can cope with what life throws their way. One of the treatment modalities we use is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and we find it to be extremely helpful for challenging negative thought patterns and changing your way of thinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is an active, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment. CBT has been shown through research to be highly effective in treating children, adolescents, and adults with a wide range of emotional and behavioral concerns including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, perinatal mood + anxiety disorders, sleep challenges, and relationship problems.

One of the pillars of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is identifying patterns in your thinking to get to the bottom of your negative thoughts. These patterns are called cognitive distortions. A cognitive distortion is a faulty way of thinking that we learn to believe is true. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps to identify cognitive distortions so you can challenge your negative thought patterns and not let them control your life.

The first step to challenging your cognitive distortions is to be able to spot them. Here are 8 common cognitive distortions to watch out for:

All or nothing thinking

This is sometimes called polarized thinking or black and white thinking, but the gist of it is that you tend to think in extremes. You don’t find a lot of middle ground - things are either good or bad. This kind of thinking can put a lot of pressure on you, which can be draining. 

The thing to remember, though, is that humans are complex. We all exist in the middle ground sometimes. We’re not all good or all bad, we’re something in between. When we get used to thinking in extremes, we lose the ability to let things be what they are.

Catastrophizing

If you catastrophize, you see the worst in every situation. Often this can come from a very real place - folks who grew up in traumatic environments often catastrophize. It’s important to remind yourself that just because you jump to the worst possible assumption doesn’t mean that it’s actually going to happen. It can be hard to break the habit of automatically assuming the worst. 

Personalization

One thing we tend to do as humans is assume everything is about us. It’s natural, right - we’re the main character in our story, after all. We feel like we’re responsible for events that are outside of our control, or that everything somehow relates back to us. However, it’s important to remember that not very many things are actually about you! The way someone acts probably has a lot more to do with them than with you. 

Jumping to Conclusions

When we decide something without evidence, we’ve jumped to conclusions. We might feel like we know what other people are thinking and feeling and what they’re going to do, but that’s not actually the truth. We aren’t mind readers. We only know what’s going on in our own minds. Jumping to conclusions can also overlap with Mind Reading, another cognitive distortion where we assume we can read the minds of the people around us, no communication needed. However, we need to let people do their own communicating. Thinking we know how everything is going to go can just lead to misunderstandings and frustration. 

Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning leads us to believe that our feelings are the truth. Instead of letting our logical brains figure out what’s true, we let our emotions do the talking. You might feel like whatever you’re feeling is the truth, but take some time to investigate a little deeper. Are your feelings facts? What do the facts tell you about the situation? 

Discounting the Positive

This is a negative bias in thinking that makes us feel like anything good that happens to us is a fluke or good luck. We don’t believe that anything good could happen to us on purpose. When you start thinking that way though, it can lead you to feel like you have no control over anything good happening to you, so it can make you less likely to try things. Remember, good things can happen to you for all sorts of reasons - skill, good decision making, timing, your connections, etc. It doesn’t have to be about luck.

Filtering

Similar to discounting the positive, filtering happens when we filter out all the positive aspects of a situation and focus only on the negative. Viewing everything through a negative filter can be exhausting and depressing. Remember that there are positives and negatives to everything, and that just because you’re tempted to focus on the negative doesn’t mean there isn’t something positive you could also focus on. 

Overgeneralization 

Overgeneralization is when we make assumptions about something based on a very small amount of evidence. Something can happen to you once and you expect it to keep happening that way forever. You might see things as part of a negative pattern or expect your negative conclusion to apply to every situation. Remember to look for more evidence before making generalizations. 

To learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy and how it can help you challenge your negative thought patterns, get in touch with us today. Our clinicians are trained in CBT and can help you reframe your unhelpful thought patterns so you can cope more effectively. 

5 Signs CBT is Right for You

The decision to start therapy can be the beginning of a meaningful journey that leads to transformation and growth. However, searching for a therapist can be tricky sometimes, for a number of reasons (including insurance, finances, scheduling, and stigma, to name a few). It can also be the start of a confusing search to figure out what type of therapy is the best fit for you. Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy the right choice or should you choose something else, like Gestalt Therapy or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy? There are many valuable different therapy frameworks today, and it can be a little overwhelming to narrow down your choices while you search for a therapist.

One of the benefits of our increased understanding of the brain and of human behavior in the last hundred or so years is that there are a lot of different approaches to therapy. Even though there are many different frameworks that therapists use, in general, the goal remains the same: to help the person in therapy. The gold-standard of treatment is an evidence-based method of treatment, which means that the approaches to therapy are backed up by research and data.

Evidence-based therapy has been tested, using the scientific method, and shown to be effective. Some examples of evidence-based treatments include therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychoanalytic/Psychodynamic Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Emotion-Focused Therapy. These are just a few examples of the frameworks out there for you to choose from.

At Hope + Wellness, we use a variety of approaches, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The main idea of CBT is that anxiety, depression, and problems with mood are related to unhelpful behaviors and thought patterns. Therefore, CBT teaches us to learn new, healthy ways of thinking and coping to effectively relieve symptoms and improve our lives. The skills are taught in CBT include learning how to face fears, problem-solving difficult situations, recognizing unhelpful thought and behavior patterns, and ways to calm the mind and body. Since it is focused on teaching you specific coping skills, CBT tends to wrap up in a time-limited number of sessions, instead of lasting indefinitely.

So, how do you decide if CBT is right for you? Read on for some signs that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you:

1. Your problems are related to your thoughts and behavior

Remember, CBT is focused on the way unhelpful thoughts and behaviors impact our lives. Since the main focus of treatment is reframing the way we think and behave, if your problems aren’t related to your thoughts and behaviors, CBT probably won’t be the modality for you. If your problems are more existential or relational in nature, or if you’re looking for a long term relationship with a therapist, a different modality might be a better fit for you.

2. You tend to expect the worst

One of the most important takeaways from CBT is that our patterns of thoughts and behaviors impact our mental health. CBT teaches us that while we can’t change what happens around us, we can change the way we react to it. If you tend to be the kind of person who expects the worst from every situation, then CBT might be a good match for you. As you learn the skills taught in CBT, you will see that changing your thoughts and beliefs to help you cope can also lead to better outcomes overall. Once you get used to the idea that the rug isn’t going to be pulled out from under you, you can start to manage your expectations in a more realistic light.

3. You are willing to commit to the process of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT can’t be taught in one session. This type of treatment is a process, and you have to be willing to put in the work to see the results. If you’re looking for a therapist to make your problems disappear without having to change the way you act or think, CBT probably won’t be helpful for you. If, however, you’re ready to commit to the work (and time commitment) of CBT, you can expect to see better results.

4. You learn in a number of different ways

CBT is one of the most frequently used therapy modalities, and that means that there are a ton of different ways to digest the information. If you decide to move forward with CBT, you can ask your therapist for recommendations for books, videos, podcasts, apps, groups, and worksheets to help you master the concepts. You can soak up the information from all of these sources and more, or you can just stick with the ones that complement the way you learn best.

5. You want the skills to help work through a relapse

CBT therapy does tend to be shorter term than traditional talk therapies because it is focused on teaching you practical coping skills to deal with your problems now and any that might come up in the future. Instead of lasting indefinitely, CBT tends to wrap up in a time-limited number of sessions. That means that you leave CBT therapy with the skills you need to manage a relapse, instead of having to learn further skills after a relapse. You can continually call on the CBT skills you learn in therapy to help you move throughout life, whatever it throws at you.

If this list has you feeling intimidated, don’t worry! You don’t have to have all of the answers. You can do your own research if you want, but you can also seek expert help. If you are able, talk to a trusted healthcare provider who knows you for a referral they think is appropriate.

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therapist in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a psychotherapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

5 Things to Know if Your Teen is Dealing with Depression

It can be scary and overwhelming to learn that your teen is depressed. You want to support your child, but don’t quite know how. You watch them struggle to get up in the morning in order to make it on time to school. They aren’t getting much sleep and don’t seem to find much enjoyment in things anymore. You worry about their grades and how this will impact college admissions. Nothing you’ve tried seems to help. When they were younger, you were able to swoop in and help. But now that they are older, they don’t seem interested in it.

One of the first things to know is that you’re not alone. Many other parents are worried and experiencing similar struggles with their teen. The second thing to know is that depression is treatable and there are things that parents can do to best support their child. Below are 5 ways to help if your teen is dealing with depression.

1. Be Supportive

Listen to your teen. Let them know you are there for them to listen and support them. Try to understand things from their perspective. Empathize and try to validate their feelings without supporting any unhealthy behavior. For example, you could say, “it sounds like you’ve been feeling really low, and I know it must be difficult to get through each day. How can I support you?”

It may feel challenging to support your teen when you feel frustrated and afraid for the way their depression has been affecting them. However, your support is invaluable. Try not to be judgmental or critical, but to remain calm and compassionate.

2. Avoid Trying to Control or Fix Their Problems for Them

It may feel passive to listen and support. As a parent, you can see what they need to do and all you may want to do is problem solve and resolve their issues for them. It is natural to feel this way. However, increasing your control over their behavior and problem solving for them can come across as judgmental, controlling, or invalidating. Your teen will need to learn how to manage their feelings and problem solve on their own. Your guidance, relationship, and support are essential during this time.

3. Encourage Positive Behaviors and Coping

Depression can result from a lack of positive experience in the environment. With the pressures of high school and college admissions, this can particularly be the case. Try to notice when your teen is engaging in healthy, positive behaviors such as spending time with friends, or going on a walk to relax and unwind. Spend quality time with them and encourage them to engage in activities that will improve their activity and functioning, such as taking a run, walking the dog, spending time with friends, engaging in a hobby. Encourage these opportunities without criticism or judgment. It’s understandable that your teen may be doing less of these activities, as that is a sign of depression. Gently let them know you understand, validating their feelings, while encouraging them to continue engaging in life’s activities.

4. Learn about depression

Try to learn more about the signs and symptoms of depression. Speak with other parents and connect with resources available to you. This can help with understanding how best to support your teen, particularly if you have not experienced depression yourself. Some helpful resources include:

Child Mind Institute - Childhood and Teen Depression

Parent’s Guide to Teen Depression

Mayo Clinic - Teen Depression

5. Get Your Teen Treatment

Therapy can be a great source of support and treatment for depression. In therapy, your teen will have a safe place where they can work through their feelings and learn skills that have been found helpful and effective in managing depression. Many studies in particular, have found cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) for the treatment of depression.

Your teen may or may not be interested in therapy. This is normal. Try to involve them in your search for a therapist. Have them look through websites and meet with different therapists to get a sense of fit and connection. While the therapist will meet with teens for one on one sessions, its also important you feel comfortable with the therapist and will be able have time meeting one on one with the therapist as a parent for guidance on how best to support your child.

Overall, it can be overwhelming when your teen begins to experience symptoms of depression, but know that much can be done to help support them.

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therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

4 Tips for Coping with Depression

Everything feels harder when living with depression. You drag yourself out of bed and force yourself to get through the day. Friends invite you to go out, but you find yourself preferring to stay in. You try to participate in your usual activities, but they no longer spark joy. Around you, everyone seems to know where their life is heading, and what it all means. You feel empty, as if life is meaningless.

Depression can be tough to live with, but the good news is that there are ways to manage symptoms and improve your life.

Get active

Emotions and behaviors are related. For example, when you’re feeling depressed (i.e., emotion), you may prefer to isolate from friends and family (i.e., behavior). In this way, emotions can lead to behaviors. However, the opposite is also true. This means that engaging in behaviors and positive activities such as spending time with friends, can lead to improvements in mood. Try it out — create a list of positive activities to do when you’re feeling depressed, and get active.

Improve Sleep

Research demonstrates strong associations between sleep and mood. For instance, depression is linked to insomnia and sleep disruption, and individuals with insomnia are at higher risk for depression. Improvements in sleep hygiene can thus help, including having a regular sleep routine, turning off electronics an hour before bed, and implementing regular sleep and wake times.

Increase Social Support

Depression can make you want to isolate from others, but the opposite — spending time with friends and family — is what can actually help. Spend time developing stronger connections with others and get help and support.

Challenge Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is a hallmark feature of depression. Oftentimes depression can cause you to believe these thoughts and over identify with them. It is thus important to begin identify negative thoughts, to challenge and replace them with more balanced or positive thoughts. This can be tough to do since depression can color your thoughts and mood. However, treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help either manage negative thoughts or form new perspectives on them.

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Therapist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. She provides individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

5 Things You Need to Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may have been a term you’ve heard before when researching therapy options, but what is it and what does it mean? What’s so amazing about it?

1. CBT has been shown to be effective for a wide range of presenting concerns, including depression and anxiety. It has also been found to contribute to significant improvements in functioning and quality of life.

2. CBT has been studied extensively in both research and clinical practice. Its efficacy is evidence based and scientifically informed. There is much scientific evidence showing that CBT is effective in producing meaningful change and improvements for clients.

3. One of the core principles of CBT is that anxiety, depression, and problems with mood are related to unhelpful behaviors and patterns of thoughts. People can thus learn new, healthy ways of thinking and coping to effectively relieve symptoms and improve their lives.

4. Psychologists and clients work together collaboratively to develop goals and to actively target symptoms. Time is spent examining present-day issues, thoughts, and behaviors.

5. Skills clients develop through CBT may include learning how to face fears, , problem solving difficult situations, recognizing patterns of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, and ways to calm the mind and body.

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psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!